


too much of a coward (for this to happen)

by supernaturalsun



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, as in andrei is cheating on his girlfriend with marty who knows, this is like 90/10 porn/feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25672714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalsun/pseuds/supernaturalsun
Summary: It’s been months now and Andrei— he doesn’t want to think about it. It’s a fucked-up situation and he feels guilty one hundred percent of the time but he can’t do it otherwise. Has to keep a facade with Elena even though she’s nice and deserves better than him. Can’t get away from Marty, always drawn back to him no matter how hard he tries to put some distance between the two of them.Andrei’s not proud but, it is the way it is. He can’t change it all just now.
Relationships: Jordan Martinook/Andrei Svechnikov
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	too much of a coward (for this to happen)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this week's discord prompt : "Why can't I be enough ?"
> 
> Obviously inspired by all the _MISTA SCHEVNIKOV_ stuff, see [this](https://jakejuentzel.tumblr.com/post/189461308373/i) and [this](https://turbolainen.tumblr.com/post/189340348760/canes-the-most-wholesome-pump-up-content-youll).

Marty backs him up against the entry wall the second they’re through the door of his apartment and Andrei revels in it, dunking his head a little to meet Marty’s lips, putting his hands on the other man’s hips to bring him closer.

There’s an urgency to their movements the way it’s always here when they’re not on the road or when it’s been days since the last time they could touch each other like that. Earlier in the locker room, Andrei thought he was going to combust from the burning look Marty kept boring on him while he was trying to undress from his hockey gear to his normal clothes.

Hands go to his ass, still above the layers of his boxers and jeans, and Andrei lets his fingers slide under Marty’s shirt, feelings the solid muscles of his stomach. He can’t help his whine when Marty squeezes him and the smile Andrei can feel against his lips in answer is almost madenning. He bites at Marty’s lower lip to signify a little of that.

Marty crowds impossibly closer, his mouth leaving Andrei’s to press small bites all along his jaw, making a path up to his ear. “Hey, what do you want ?” He asks, his voice so low and hungry it stirs the heat that have started to pool at the bottom of Andrei’s stomach.

“I want to fuck you, want to remember how good you feel when I’m inside you,” he answers, a little breathless when Marty nips at his earlobe while pushing their dicks together a little lower.

Marty’s grin is once again unmistakable against Andrei’s skin. “Good, my back bitched at me the last time we did it on the couch, I let you lead the way to a bed please.”

Their last hook-up flashes back into Andrei’s mind, the flush that had spread all over Marty’s body when Andrei’s had laid him out over the arm of the couch, fucking him from behind with one arm wrapped around his chest. His dick aches at the memory, clearly here for the repeat, and Marty arches an eyebrow at him, expectant. 

Andrei rolls his eyes at him before squeezing his waist and grabbing his wrist to take them to the comfort of Marty’s king size bed. This is Marty’s place but Andrei could make his way to the bedroom blindfolded and drunk of his ass. He doesn’t want to think too much about what it entails exactly.

Their clothes go on the way and they tumble naked into bed together, a mess of limbs until Andrei can get on top, slotted between Marty’s open legs. Marty’s looking at him from under his lashes and Andrei has to take a minute to take him in. 

They’re roughly the same weight but Andrei has two inches on him. It makes Marty looks bigger, packed differently. Andrei will never fail to admire the strength of his thighs, the trail of hair in the middle of his abs, the small scar on his third line of ribs, the moles he has on the top of his chest. He’s just… A whole thing of beauty that Andrei tries to avoid looking at when they’re in public but can’t get his eyes away from when it’s just the two of them.

“How do you want this ?” Marty asks, snapping Andrei’s attention back on his face. He looks relaxed, almost too uninterested in the whole process if it wasn’t for the top of his dick poking at Andrei’s stomach. 

Andrei never has to think too much when he is with Marty, which is something he loves about this whole side of their relationship. Marty is always there to ask him what he wants, suggesting things Andrei doesn’t dare to propose, prodding him until he will admit what would get him hot. Andrei never feels like he  _ has  _ to do anything, always safe and sound when he’s with Marty, and that’s… Not something he thought he could have.

The only other time Andrei ever was with another guy had been in juniors. Fooling around with a teammate from time to time until they almost got caught that one time and it scared the shit out of Andrei. Back then, a couple years ago, he said  _ never again. This is not for me and I can’t do it and I won’t, not until the day I die _ .

And then he got drafted 2nd overall by the Carolina Hurricanes and he met Jordan Martinook—  _ Marty, people call me Marty around here _ . Marty who likes to crowd in his space, yelling at him within three inches of his face. Marty who takes care of him, always making sure Andrei gets home alright after nights out, taking him to restaurants after morning practices.

Marty who leaned into him when they where in his room on the road to watch a movie, who stayed one inch away from Andrei’s face until Andrei had to make a little whine from the back of his throat and push forwards to close the distance between them and kiss him, shyly at first and senseless, soon after.

“Let me prep you and ride me ?” he answers to Marty’s previous question, almost hesitant. The smile he gets in answer is huge, Marty’s eagerness transparent on his face.

“Lube’s in the same place as always,” Marty says before pecking Andrei on the lips quickly and Andrei moves to reach the bedside table and grab the plastic bottle and condoms. 

Andrei settles between Marty’s legs, his knees bent and feet solid on the mattress. He knows they were a little frantic when they got here but facing Marty’s dick, Andrei takes his sweet time to get acquainted with it again. He’s had it in his mouth and in his ass a bunch of times already but fuck it, it’s a pretty dick alright.

(Andrei has been wishing he wasn’t into men since the first time he felt heat looking at a guy’s features and then he sees this, feels his mouth water at the idea of blowing Marty, and he knows he’s fucked.)

(Andrei gets fucking horny when he exchanges looks with Marty in the locker room, watch his body move on the dance floor when they go out together, catch his smile when he laughs at one of Dougie’s terrible joke. Objectively, it’s not exactly a dick issue. Andrei’s just fucked anyway.)

He feels fingers on his hair and Andrei shoots a last glance at Marty before wrapping one hand at the base of his cock, head bowing down to lick long stripes from bottom to top. Andrei takes his time to make it all wet, feeling Marty’s thighs tense under his hands when he finally mouth the tip.

Having Marty writhing under him is heady, like Andrei is always surprised by the fact that  _ he  _ can do that.

Andrei sinks further down Marty’s dick, bobbing his head up and down in slow motions, and he reaches blindly for the bottle of lube, coating his fingers. The first one goes in easily and Andrei levels his gaze up Marty’s body, his stomach taut, his eyes half lidded and  _ so focused  _ on him at the same time.

Marty groans when Andrei moves to two fingers and starts prodding. He keeps working on him, opening him up and teasing the tip of his dick with the tiniest graze of bite before going down with grace, smoothly and teeth free. He stops and crawls back up when Marty’s basically trashing under him and begging him to get going before he comes from this alone. 

Andrei has one second where he wants to call Marty a drama king but then his own dick pulse, heavy, reminding him of his own arousal and yeah, okay, let’s go. He kisses Marty deeply before settling on his back and Marty is quick to straddle his lap, one knee on each side of his hips as he rolls a condom on Andrei, adds some more lube before slowly going down on him. 

When Marty starts moving, Andrei’s hands fly to his hips and grabs them hard. His eyes travel back and forth between Marty’s face scrunched in concentration and his thighs, oh so  _ powerful _ . 

Using his feet to gain some leverage, Andrei thrusts his hips to meet Marty’s movements and gets low moans out of him, the sound so pretty Andrei never wants it to stop.

Marty’s hands are braced on Andrei’s chest and after a while, when Andrei feels the tension building inside his own body, Marty lifts his right hand to wrap it around his own dick, jerking himself off above Andrei.

Andrei focus on Marty’s dick, the angry tip leaking pre-come. He kind of wants it in his mouth again, even though that’s not going to be easy right now. Marty doesn’t let him think about it for too long, halting his movements up and down Andrei’s dick to shoot his loudest groan, painting Andrei’s chest with long stripes of cum. 

“ _ God _ ”, Marty groans when Andrei uses his thumb to collect the few drops that managed to reach his chin and pushes it inside his mouth to lick it clean. 

Then, Marty moves a little and Andrei whines, painfully reminding him that he’s still hard and on the brink of coming. He definitely would have fucked Marty through his orgasm if it wasn’t for his attention being caught by what was happening right in front of his eyes.

“Got you,” Marty says when it seems like his brain came back online a little more and then he’s levelling himself up. Andrei barely has the time to protest because Marty is quick to get rid of the condom and it probably take less than two minutes before Andrei is coming down his throat. 

Marty climbs up the bed, laying himself on his back next to Andrei after pressing a sloppy kiss against his temple. They stay like that for a moment, their arms brushing, the room silent except for their slowing breathing. Marty grabs a water bottle on the bedside table that he shares with Andrei and after that, Andrei decides that’s it’s enough. He gets up to start gathering his clothes, putting his boxers on first.

“You should stay. I’m not a young gun like you but if you give me some time, I’ll be good as new to go again. There are some more things I need to do to that beautiful body of yours.”

Andrei flushes, his hands tightening on his shirt, and he keeps his back to Marty when he answers. “You know I can’t.” 

_ Elena’s waiting for me. At home _ . He doesn’t say. He doesn’t need to. Marty already knows.

“Why can’t I be enough ?” Marty asks when Andrei has finally turned around. He’s sitting in the bed, back propped against the headboard, one leg bent at the knee, the sheets pooling on his lap. 

Andrei makes the effort to look him in the eyes, and if he was surprised by how steady Marty’s voice had sounded, he find hurt clear in the lines of his face. Andrei thinks he has never seen him look so  _ young _ , not quite defeated but torn up, disappointed. It’s not - it’s not a pretty sight, it eats at Andrei’s insides a little.

“Please, don’t,” he eventually says, his tone less affirmed than he would have liked.

“Andrei—” Marty starts, rising on his knees, the covers revealing his legs, the imprints of the hands Andrei had pressed hard on his hips earlier standing out on the white of his skin.

“Please,” he reiterates, trying to be stronger than before but probably failing by a mile. “I— I’ve always been clear on what this could be. You know why I have to leave.”

And the things is, yeah, Marty knows about Elena. She’s never been a secret, Andrei actually took her to some team events so they actually met a couple of times. Marty’s fully aware that Andrei’s cheating on his girlfriend when they’re together. They just— don’t talk about it. Ever.

Marty almost tried, that first time, when Andrei was about to slide his boxers down his legs.  _ What about Elena.  _ Andrei knows his face had showed some anger, mixed with a little bit of shame. He’d said “Please don’t,”, just like earlier, and they had it been it.

It’s been months now and Andrei— he doesn’t want to think about it. It’s a fucked-up situation and he feels guilty one hundred percent of the time but he can’t do it otherwise. Has to keep a facade with Elena even though she’s nice and deserves better than him. Can’t get away from Marty, always drawn back to him no matter how hard he tries to put some distance between the two of them.

Andrei’s not proud but, it is the way it is. He can’t change it all just now.

“What I know,” Marty starts. Andrei can’t help the sound he makes when Marty takes his earlobe between his lips, hands sliding down his back to cup Andrei’s ass through his boxers. “Is that you like this. I know your body like nobody else and you love  _ this _ .” He punctuates his words with an open mouthed kiss to Andrei’s throat, his fingers going up and down again, passing the elastic of Andrei’s boxers this time. “I know and  _ you  _ know that I’m the best at giving you what you need.”

Andrei would probably recognize the moves as desperate, if only he could think straight and not whimper under Marty’s hands. He doesn’t know if Marty switched ways because he realized Andrei was not going to give him the conversation he wanted to have but the thing is, Andrei is weak and Marty was right with every single one of the statements he just made.

“ _ Fuck _ ”, he groans before detaching his neck from Marty and putting both his hands on his chest to push him back into bed. “Make this quick,” he orders before taking Marty’s mouth into a hard kiss.

Marty rolls them so he can be on top and then he’s sliding down Andrei’s body, his nails raking his ribs feather like while he sucks on Andrei’s skin, making his way to his dick. “Don’t— don’t put marks on me,” Andrei grits, swatting at Marty’s head a little.

Marty raises his head, hard look in his eyes, and he smirks. “Don’t worry princess, I won’t use my teeth so you can pretend those are just hockey bruises.”

Andrei flushes and he lets his fingertips graze Marty’s face as his teammate does just as he just said. 

Soon enough, Marty’s face to face with Andrei’s dick, his boxers gone again, and he loosely holds on to the base to place a kiss at the top and Andrei whines, still a little sensitive. Then he feels hands lifting his hips and Andrei gasps when he feels the first touch of tongue to his hole. 

He tries to trash a little, surprised by the contact, and Marty’s hands are solid on his thighs, thumbs rubbing against the skin. “Easy,” Marty murmurs before pressing a kiss on the inside of Andrei’s thigh. “This okay, right ?” 

Andrei nods vigorously. “Please go on.”

Another smirk from Marty, downright sinful, and then his tongue is back in, prodding at Andrei’s entrance. 

Andrei plants his feet firmly against the bed, hands fisted by his sides now that Marty is a little out of reach (or requiring too much work from his abs). It’s not the first time Marty has ever done that to him but it’s not the tenth time either, the contact a little foreign but still undeniably  _ good _ .

There’s a break that makes Andrei protests. It also makes him realize he closed his eyes somewhere in the last minutes and when he looks down, Marty just catching a couple of pillows to put below Andrei’s hips. Marty takes a second to look at him,  _ hungry _ , and Andrei’s breath catch a little at their wordless exchange.

Then, without any warning, Marty’s tongue is back in, opening him up, and Andrei moans loudly, which seems to spur Marty on ever more, his movements relentless, sending shivers up Andrei’s spine on every other thrust.

This time, Andrei fights to keep his eyes open and—  _ fuck.  _ Between, the bulk of his shoulders, the power in his arms still lifting Andrei’s hips, the focus on his face, he truly is the most beautiful thing Andrei has ever seen.

Distantly, Andrei hears the sound of the bottle of lube being uncapped and then there are fingers, two of them at first, replacing Marty’s tongue. They find the good angle and Andrei moans, pushing his hips against Marty’s hand, his dick definitely back in the game.

Marty’s free hand is running circles on one of his thighs, his palm big on Andrei’s pale skin, and Andrei tries not to think how  _ possessive  _ the gesture looks while Marty adds a third finger inside him. 

“Come on, I’m ready,” Andrei tries to push when he feels like he’s going to combust if he doesn’t get Marty’s dick in him  _ right this second. _

“Brat,” Marty rolls his eyes at him but then there’s a condom wrapper being opened and soon enough, Marty’s pushing at his entrance, knees once again braced on either side of Andrei’s hips.

Marty leans forwards, bracing his forearms beside Andrei’s head, and when he bottoms out, they both groan at the same time. While Marty gives some time to Andrei for him to adjust, he dives down to take Andrei’s mouth in a hungry kiss, one hand holding Andrei’s jaw to angle his head just how he wants it. Andrei lets him do so, puts his hands on Marty’s side to roam over his sweaty skin. 

“Alright, I’m gonna go now,” Marty has the kindness to mumble against his lips and then he slides back, tip of his dick barely inside before pushing in again,  _ hard.  _

Marty doesn’t waste any time building a growing rhythm and toying with Andrei. He goes fast from the beginning, making Andrei grunt and whimper on almost every thrust. It gets hard to keep kissing and Marty ducks his head down, burrowing his nose against Andrei’s neck.

Andrei makes his loudest moan when Marty reaches his prostate and Marty seems to get it, doing it again, relentless. The hand he had on Andrei’s jaw has moved up to his hair, the longer than usual strands kind of long enough to be parted by fingers. Andrei’s completely surrounded by Marty, almost to an underwhelming point. He tries to keep his focus on the wave of pleasures going through his body, keeping his brain from going back to the almost discussion they had earlier.

His dick is definitely hard now, almost painfully so. Andrei tries to reach for it but Marty swats his hand away. “Let me,” he says but doesn’t put his fingers on Andrei immediately. Andrei whines and Marty eventually indulge him after a couple more thrusts.

Andrei comes first, high pitched moan echoing in the room, and it takes another few rolls of Marty’s hips for him to follow. Andrei’s too gone in his orgasm bliss to have the time to worry for his neck but Marty doesn’t use his teeth when he finishes still inside Andrei. Instead, he kisses his throat open-mouthed before moving up to kiss him properly, Andrei’s mouth a little too slack to properly answer.

They stay like that for a couple of minutes until Marty pulls out, demanding one last deep kiss from Andrei before getting up and disposing of the condom. Then, he walks to his bathroom and he comes back with a wet towel that he throws at Andrei. “You’re still not planning on staying ?”

The words feel like a bucket of ice thrown over him and Andrei has to fight the lump of anger in his throat. He hadn’t— he hadn’t expected for Marty to move past the feelings or something he had expressed earlier but he kind of did, at the same time. “You know I can’t,” he answers again, not quite managing to meet Marty’s eyes.

“I’m gonna head for the shower, you know your way out,” Marty says and he doesn’t wait for an answer before closing the bathroom’s door behind him, water starting to run the next second.

In the end, it’s the idea of being face to face with Marty again rather than the fact that Elena is waiting for him that makes Andrei push past the sour taste in his throat and the throbbing in his brain to get up and get dressed, leaving Marty’s place without a proper goodbye.

○○○

They have the next day off and Marty doesn’t text him. They’re on the road the day after that and Teuvo shoots him a weird look when Marty goes past Andrei to sit next to him on the place. Andrei shrugs in answer, getting his airpods out of their box to drown his brain in music and not spend the entire ride looking at the back of Marty’s head.

They don’t talk during practice, don’t eat together but manage to be in the same elevator after dinner. Andrei catches Marty’s eyes in the sideway mirror and that’s what make him decide that he can’t let this situation worsen. They’re both grown-ups and they’re going to use their words and talk.

Marty doesn’t say a single thing when Andrei follows him to his room, intent on the two of them having a discussion. 

Andrei’s back hit the door the second they’re in the room, Marty’s lips hungry against his own. 

There’s not much talking happening that night. Or the following, for that matter.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr @ macknnons :)


End file.
